RUTHLESS FOE FLOORS ME, COSTS ALL I HAVE GAINED

       

            Surprised me.

            Fooled me.

            Struck without provocation.

            Heartless, unfair,  unforgiving.

            When the battle ended, I lay helpless, crying for survival.

            The swift battle not only interrupted my day, but my week, maybe my life forever.

            Why must life be so unfair, especially when you least expect being blindsided by disaster?

            You’ve been a good boy: eaten your cornflakes ever morning, helped with the dishes and continued to follow the Boy Scout motto nearly ever day of your life. That is if you don’t’ count the time I joined other farm boys who tipped over a neighbor’s outhouse on Halloween Eve.

            My recent challenge was not completely unexpected because the perpetrator had been stalking victims around town for a couple of weeks. Meanwhile, precautions had been taken to avoid such reckless disregard for a person’s wellbeing.

            But the bully struck at midnight Sunday.

            My first thoughts were: Why didn’t my flu vaccine protect me as it had for the past century? Fortunately, my wife escaped being a victim. Next time I want the same batch of flu vaccine that she receives.

            My momma always told me to look on the bright side of life, which I discovered when I stepped on the scales this morning.

            I’ve dropped five pounds, which I picked up since entering this retirement home seven months ago and began ordering yummie desserts and ice cream after noon and evening meals.

            Which if I were to paraphrase Shakespeare, the lesson I learned might read something like this: “He who steals my purse, even my good name, steals nothing, ’twas nothing, ‘tis nothing when compared to an unwelcome gastronomic reminder to quit eating so much ice cream.”

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